The never ending battle!

2012-02-02T02:12:00.000-06:00

At the urging of his doctor, Bill moved to Texas for the healthier climate.

After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.

"Say, is this really a healthy place?"

"It sure is," the man replied. "When I first arrived here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed."

"That's wonderful!" said Bill. "How long have you been here?"

"I was born here."

Pontius Pilate

2012-01-15T02:10:00.000-06:00

From a recent Email:

Every Easter our church stages an elaborate pageant. Last year the man who played Pontius Pilate had to work on the night of the dress rehearsal, and a chorus member substituted for him.

As we began rehearsing Pilate's solo, the conductor stopped the orchestra. "Pilate, I don't hear you," he called out. "You're not loud enough."

"Pilate is at work," a voice shouted back from the stage. "We've got our co-Pilate tonight."

THE Christmas Story

2011-12-25T03:14:00.001-06:00

Luke 2:1-38 And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. (And this taxing was first made when Cyrenius was governor in Syria.) And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David.) To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child.

And so it was, that while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling cloths, and laid him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them; and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, Fear not; for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger. and suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

And it came to pass, as the angels were gone away from them into heaven, the shepherds said one to another, Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass, which the Lord hath made known unto us.

And they came with haste, and found Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger. And when they had seen it, they made known abroad the saying which was told them concerning this child. And all they that heard it wondered at those things which were told them by the shepherds. But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart. And the shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things that they had heard and seen, as it was told unto them.

Santa - Male or Female?

2011-12-24T23:00:00.000-06:00

Santa Claus is a woman because:

The vast majorities of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve and only go for a last-minute shopping spree.
For a he-Santa, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh.
Even if the male Santa did have reindeer, he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
For a Santa man, there would be unavoidable delays in the chimney, where the Bob Vila-like Santa would stop to inspect and repaint bricks in the flue.
He would also need to check for carbon monoxide fumes in every gas fireplace, and get under every Christmas tree that is crooked to straighten it to a perfectly upright 90-degree angle.
Men can't pack a bag.
Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all those elves.
Men don't answer their mail.
Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly."
Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
Having to do the 'Ho Ho Ho' thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.
Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.

Santa is certainly a Man!

Santa Claus is undoubtedly a man because:

Santa doesn't deliver his presents on The Friday after Thanksgiving when the malls are open for 20 hours. Christmas Eve deliveries prove Mr. Claus to be a man.
Santa's reindeer is so drunk that his nose glows as his navigator. A woman would never let out those cute deer to work on Christmas Eve that too in cold and perhaps would dress them in sweaters and booties.
Only a male Santa can ignore 'fashion' and wear the same suit for 500 years.
Santa has never been known to answer a letter.
Women aren't interested in stockings unless someone better looking than them is wearing them.
As many presents as Santa delivers he has no trouble with babes.
Only men have the ability to stay up for 24 hours straight in the cold with a bunch of mangy deer and going up and down soot-infested chimneys.
A woman would never even think of going down a chimney and risk staining that red velvet.
Commitment requires that Christmas be on the same day each year. A female Santa would delay Christmas until she can touch-up her makeup and do her hair after leaving each house.

Legend of the Nutcracker

2011-12-24T18:00:00.000-06:00

E.T.A. Hoffman wrote the famous ballet of the nutcracker, which was first performed in 1892. However, the story was considered to be too morbid for kids and thus, Alexander Dumas Pere rewrote it to infuse more optimism and happiness in it. The story is about a young girl named Clara. His doting uncle Drosselmeyer gifts her a magical and mysterious nutcracker that she always keeps by her side. One night, when she was sleeping, the evil Mouse King came and tried to take her to his kingdom.

Then, the Nutcracker Prince sprang to life and fought the Mouse King and rescued Clara. The ballet becomes even more interesting and fantasy runs wild from here. After his victory, Clara goes with the Nutcracker Prince to the land of magic and dreams. She visits the land of the dolls and that of the Snow Queen where she met snowflakes of all types. She also goes through the candy land and kids love to hear the sweets from all over the world that she met there. The beautiful flowers and the sugar plum fairy capture their imagination. It is only on the Christmas day that Clara wakes up to find herself back at home, surrounded by her family.

Marius Petipa, the first ballet master to the Tsar of Russia requested Piotr Tchaikovsky to compose the music for the ballet and he did an excellent work on it. Piotr used many different and unusual instruments such a celesta with its bell-like sound in the ballet and kept it very secret until it was first performed because he was worried that somebody might steal his idea before he could use it. The ballet became one of the most famous ballets of its time.

Ten Funny Christmas Traditions

2011-12-24T15:00:00.001-06:00

"Wassail" comes from the Old Norse "ves heill" - to be of good health. This evolved into the tradition of visiting neighbours on Christmas Eve and drinking to their health.

A traditional Christmas dinner in early England was the head of a pig prepared with mustard.

According to a 1995 survey, 7 out of 10 British dogs get Christmas gifts from their doting owners.

During the ancient 12-day Christmas celebration, the log burned was called the "Yule log".

Sometimes a piece of the Yule log would be kept to kindle the fire the following winter, to ensure that the good luck carried on from year to year. The Yule log custom was handed down from the Druids.

During the Christmas buying season, Visa cards alone are used an average of 5,340 times every minute in the United States.

After "A Christmas Carol," Charles Dickens wrote several other Christmas stories, one each year, but none was as successful as the original.

Although many believe the Friday after Thanksgiving is the busiest shopping day of the year, it is not. It is the fifth to tenth busiest day. The Friday and Saturday before Christmas are the two busiest shopping days of the year.

Charles Dickens' initial choice for Scrooge's statement "Bah Humbug" was "Bah Christmas."

Christmas trees are edible. Many parts of pines, spruces, and firs can be eaten. The needles are a good source of vitamin C. Pine nuts, or pine cones, are also a good source of nutrition.

In Britain, the Holy Days and Fasting Days Act of 1551, which has not yet been repealed, states that every citizen must attend a Christian church service on Christmas Day, and must not use any kind of vehicle to get to the service.

Funny Christmas Stories

2011-12-24T13:00:00.001-06:00

Daisy and her thirteen-year-old sister, Mia, had been fighting a great deal during the last year. This often can happen when you combine a strong-willed two-year-old, who is sure she is always right, with a young adolescent.

Daisy's parents, trying to take advantage of her newfound interest in Santa Claus, reminded the two-year-old that Santa was watching and he was unhappy when he saw children argue and fight. This had little impact on little Mia who really didn't understand.

'I'll just have to tell Santa about your misbehaviour,' the mother said as she picked up the phone and dialed. Mia's eyes grew big as her mother asked, 'Mrs. Claus?' [it was really Daisy and Mia's aunt as Santa's real line was busy] if she could put Santa on the line.

Mia's mouth dropped even further open her mother described to Santa [Mia's uncle] how the two-year-old was acting. When her mother told Mia that Santa wanted to talk to her, she reluctantly took the phone.

Santa, speaking in a deep voice, explained to Mia how there would be no presents Christmas morning to children who fought with their sisters. He would be watching, and he expected things to be better from now on.

Mia, now even more wide eyed, solemnly nodded to each of Santa's remarks and silently hung the phone up when he was done. After a short while, the sister's mother [trying hard not to laugh at being so clever] asked Mia, 'What did Santa say to you, darling?'

In almost a whisper, Mia, sadly but matter-of-factly stated, 'Mummy, Santa said he won't be bringing any toys to Daisy this year.'

2011-12-24T03:04:00.001-06:00

This guy goes into his dentist's office, because something is wrong with his mouth. After a brief examination, the dentist exclaims, "Holy Smoke! That plate I installed in your mouth about six months ago has nearly completely corroded! What on earth have you been eating?"

"Well... the only thing I can think of is this... my wife made me some asparagus about four months ago with this stuff on it... Hollandaise sauce she called it... and doctor, I'm talkin' DELICIOUS! I've never tasted anything like it, and ever since then I've been putting it on everything... meat, fish, toast, vegetables... you name it!"

"That's probabably it," replied the dentist "Hollandaise sauce is made with lemon juice, which is acidic and highly corrosive. It seems as thought I'll have to install a new plate, but made out of chrome this time."

"Why chrome?" the man asked.

"Well, everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

More Christmas Quotes

2011-12-23T03:01:00.001-06:00

Rick, is a paramedic here in Miami. A few years ago he answered a call about a man who had a head injury he sustained when some teenagers were throwing eggs at cars.

It seems that the egg had come through the open window of the man's car as he was driving at about 45 mph. He had a large swelling on his forehead.

In the official report, Rick described the incident as an "egg-noggin".

Twisted Greeting Cards

2011-12-22T02:58:00.000-06:00

Twisted Greeting Cards

(Alan Meiss)

______________________________________________

I must express my gratitude

for such a lovely gift.

Your thoughtfulness and taste is matched

only by your thrift.

It's clear that you spared all expense,

if you catch my drift.

Remove the anti-theft device

when you again shoplift.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It's Christmas time, and once again,

the family's gathered 'round.

Uncles, aunts, and cousins come

to raise a joyful sound.

All that is, except for you,

whom we can only send this mail.

But we'll save your gifts for fifty years

till you get out of jail.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

This Christmas time I give to you

a book that isn't mine.

So give it back before it's due

or I'll have to pay a fine.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Dear friend,

Your name is on my Christmas card list,

and as I wrote you name and address

on the envelope,

an odd, puzzling feeling of wonder

washed over me, and I wondered...who are you?

The reindeer walks into the bar.....

2011-12-21T02:58:00.000-06:00

One evening, in a busy lounge, a reindeer walked in the door, bellied up to the bar and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set it in front of the reindeer, and accepted the twenty-dollar bill from the reindeer.

As he handed the reindeer some coins in change, he said, "You know, I think you're the first reindeer I've ever seen in here."

The reindeer looked hard at the change and said,"Hmmmpf. Let me tell you something, buddy. At these prices, I'm the last reindeer you'll see in here."

The Four Stages of Man: (Christmas)

2011-12-20T02:57:00.000-06:00

He believes in Santa Claus
He doesn't believe in Santa Claus
He is Santa Claus
He looks like Santa Claus

What to Say When You Get a REALLY Bad Gift

2011-12-19T02:56:00.001-06:00

Now that's a gift.
Wow! You sure surprised me.
I never would have guessed.
If I hadn't gained all that weight this would have fit.
If the dog buries it, I'll be furious!
I love it--but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.
Unfortunately, tomorrow I enter the Federal Witness Protection Program.
I really don't deserve this.
And to think I got this the first year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.
I hope this never catches fire. There have been a lot of unexplained fires around here.
I couldn't bear to have anything happen to this so I am going to pack it away safely in the basement.

Santa Claus / Flight Check

2011-12-18T02:48:00.003-06:00

Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and the FAA examiner arrived last week for the pre-Christmas flight check.

In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. He knew they would examine all his equipment and truly put Santa's flying skills to the test.

The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and even Rudolph's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for sled's enormous payload. Finally, they were ready for the check ride. Santa got in and fastened his seat belt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.

"What's that for?!?" asked Santa incredulously.

The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this ahead of time," as he leaned over to whisper in Santa's ear, "but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."

Christmas Humor

2011-12-17T02:46:00.000-06:00

What kind of tree do fingers grow on?

A palm tree.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

Did you hear about the man who bought a paper shop? It blew away.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

What must you know to be an auctioneer? Lots.

What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert? Lost.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

How do snails keep their shells shiny?

They use snail varnish.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

What is the vampire's favourite song?

Fangs for the memory.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

What do you get if Santa comes down your chimney when the fire is a alight?

Crisp Kringle

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Nothing.

It just let out a little wine.

Christmas Humor

2011-12-15T02:44:00.001-06:00

It was Christmas Eve in at the meat counter and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few remaining turkeys in the hope of finding a large one.

In desperation she called over a shop assistant and said, 'Excuse me. Do these turkeys get any bigger?'

'No, madam, 'he replied, 'they're all dead.'

What A Girl Wants For Christmas

2011-12-14T02:44:00.000-06:00

What A Girl Wants For Christmas

The Santa Claus at the shopping mall was very surprised when a Emily, young lady aged about 20 years old walked up and sat on his lap. Now, we all know that Santa doesn't usually take requests from adults, but she smiled very nicely at him, so he asked her, 'What do you want for Christmas?'

'Something for my mother, please,' replied Emily sweetly.

'Something for your mother? Well, that's very loving and thoughtful of you,' smiled Santa. 'What do would you like me to bring her?'

Without turning a hair Emily answered quickly, 'A son-in-law.'

What A Boy Wants For Christmas

2011-12-13T02:43:00.001-06:00

What A Boy Wants For Christmas

Darren remembers accompanying his father out shopping in the toy department of Hamleys one Christmas Eve.

Dad said, 'What a marvellous train set. I'll buy it.'

The girl behind the counter looked pleased and murmured, 'Great, I'm sure your son will really love it.'

Dad replied with a glint in his eye, 'Maybe you're right. In that case I'll take two.'

2011-12-12T02:42:00.000-06:00

Peter Dickinson

The threat of Christmas hung in the air, visible already in the fretful look of passersby as they readied themselves for the meaningless but necessary rites of false jovialities and ill-considered gifts.

Max Lucado, God Came Near

Were it not for the shepherds, there would have been no reception. And were it not for a group of stargazers, there would have been no gifts.

More Christmas Quotes

2011-12-11T02:41:00.000-06:00

by Dave Barry

Once again we find ourselves enmeshed in the Holiday Season, that very special time of year when we join with our loved ones in sharing centuries-old traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall. We traditionally do this in my family by driving around the parking lot until we see a shopper emerge from the mall, then we follow her, in very much the same spirit as the Three Wise Men, who 2,000 years ago followed a star, week after week, until it led them to a parking space.

mor

2011-12-10T02:41:00.000-06:00

by Dave Barry, Christmas Shopping

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukka' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukka!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!'

Giving to God

2011-12-09T12:45:00.000-06:00

A priest once asked one of his parishioners to serve as financial chairman of his parish. The man, manager of a grain elevator, agreed on two conditions: no report would be due for a year, and no one would ask any questions during the year.

At the end of the year he made his report. He had paid off the church debt of $200,000. He had redecorated the church. He had sent money to missions. He had $5,000 in the bank.

Needless to say, everyone wanted to know how. The man quietly explained, "You people bring your grain to my elevator. As you did business with me, I simply withheld 10 percent and gave it to the church. You never missed it."

Imagine how well your church would do if everyone tithed 10% of their income in addition to offerings?

More Christmas Quotes

2011-12-09T02:40:00.000-06:00

by W. J. Cameron

There has been only one Christmas -- the rest are anniversaries.

More Christmas Quotes

2011-12-08T02:38:00.001-06:00

By Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas time to you but a time for paying bills without money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but not an hour richer...? If I could work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' upon his lips should be boiled with his won pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!"

The Race

2011-12-07T22:14:00.000-06:00

Mary Hollingsworth tells a story about the noted director of biblical epics, Cecil B. DeMille. When they began working on the movie Ben Hur, DeMille talked to Charlton Heston--the star of the movie--about the all-important chariot race at the end. He decided Heston should actually learn to drive the chariot himself, rather than just using a stunt double. Heston agreed to take chariot-driving lessons to make the movie as authentic as possible.

Learning to drive a chariot with horses four abreast, however, was no small matter. After extensive work and days of practice, Heston returned to the movie set and reported to DeMille.

"I think I can drive the chariot all right, Cecil," said Heston, "but I'm not at all sure I can actually win the race."

Smiling slightly, DeMille said, "Heston, you just stay in the race, and I'll make sure you win."

The Bible tells us in 1 Cor 9:24

New International Version (©1984)
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. (KJV)

Hebrews 12

1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,
2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (NIV)

The movie director knew the endgame, he knew how it would end and that the star will end. God knows your ending and if you run your race with HIM, you will win.. God knows how it will work out. Have faith and Run with God.

More Christmas Quotes

2011-12-07T02:38:00.000-06:00

"Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer. Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?" ~ Bill Watterson in Calvin and Hobbes

More Christmas Quotes

2011-12-06T02:35:00.001-06:00

"Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year." ~ Victor Borge

More Christmas Quotes

2011-12-05T02:33:00.001-06:00

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn''t for any religious reasons. They couldn''t find three wise men!

Jay Leno

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Johnny Carson

The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.

Johnny Carson

2011-12-04T02:31:00.001-06:00

My favorite traditional Christmas movie that I like to watch is All Quiet on the Western Front. It's just not December without that movie in my house.

Tom Hanks

More Christmas Quotes

2011-12-03T02:30:00.000-06:00

Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it.

Richard Lamm

More Christmas Quotes

2011-12-02T02:27:00.001-06:00

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Garrison Keillor

Christmas Quotes

2011-12-01T02:25:00.000-06:00

He who has no Christmas in his heart will never find Christmas under a tree.

Charlotte Carpenter

The Mule

2011-11-27T00:35:00.000-06:00

Once upon a time there was a woman married to an annoying man. He would complain about everything. One day he went to the creek with his mule. He complained so much that the mule got annoyed and kicked him to death. At the funeral, when all the men walked by the wife she shook her head yes and every time the women walked by she shook her head no.

The minister asked "Why are you shaking your head yes for men and no for women?" Her response was, "The men would say how sorry they felt for me and I was saying, "Yes, I'll be alright." When the women walked by, they were asking if the mule was for sale."

The Last Days

2011-11-25T01:27:00.000-06:00

William Barclay wrote in his book The Mind of St. Paul, “The great value of the doctrine of the Second Coming is that it guarantees that history is going somewhere. We cannot tell how it will happen. We cannot take as literal truth the Jewish pictures of it which Paul used. We need not think of a physical coming of Christ in the clouds, or a physical trumpet blast. But what the doctrine of the Second Coming conserves is the tremendous fact that there is one divine, far-off event to which the whole creation is moving; there is a consummation; there is a final triumph of God.”

(William Barclay, The Mind of St. Paul, New York: Harper and Bros. 1958, p.229)

No matter how the last days work out, pre trib, mid trib or post trib, something will happen and God does have a final end game.

2011-09-04T13:28:00.003-05:00

"Signs You Need a New Pizza Place"

The pizza's secrets ingredient is still moving.

The delivery kid is packing.

This weeks special is double cheese and double anchovies at no extra charge.

While waiting for the last order to come out of the oven, you catch the delivery guys playing "Frisbee golf" with the other pizzas.

When you call in your order, someone answers the phone with "Gino's Bait Shop and Pizzeria, how may I help you?"

When you open the box you find that the anchovies are eating the sausage.

You realize the red sauce is ketchup.

The pizza box that was just delivered to you displays the phone number for the Poison Control Hot-Line.

You notice a sign on the door: "Dear Customers: we are pleased to announce that 38% of our menu is FDA approved."

Their slogan is, "If it's not there in 30 minutes, it's not getting there."

Your "stuffed crust pizza" is stuffed with pudding instead of cheese.

Your order of bread sticks is simply the uneaten crust from old pizza slices.

The delivery guy waits at your door until you're finished so he can take the box back for the next customer.

2011-08-04T13:27:00.000-05:00

A couple with three children waited in line at San Francisco's Pier 41 to purchase tickets for a sightseeing boat to Alcatraz Prison. The children weren't good at waiting: they fidgeted, whined, and punched one another. The frazzled parents reprimanded them to no avail.

Finally they reached the ticket window.

"Five tickets, please," the father said. "Two round trip, three one way."

2011-07-14T13:26:00.000-05:00

Ms. Crabtree had been telling her 1st grade class the story of the discovery of America by Columbus.

She concluded with, "And all this happened more than 500 years ago."

"Wow!" exclaimed one student, "What a great memory you have!"

2011-06-04T13:25:00.000-05:00

As a potential juror in an assault-and-battery case, I was sitting in a courtroom, answering
questions from both sides.

The prosecutor asked had I ever been mugged?

Did I know the victim or the defendant?

The defense attorney took a different approach."I see you are a teacher," he said. "What do
you teach?"

"English and theater," I responded.

"Then I guess I better watch my grammar," the defense attorney quipped.

"No" I shot back. "You better watch your acting."

I was excused from the case.

John 7:38

2011-05-18T03:11:00.000-05:00

This is an excellent post by a Mr. Jim Coleman and sent to me via email recently.

By Jim Coleman

“He who believes in me…out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.” -The words of Jesus Christ, John 7:38

In the summertime, for years and years, my four sons and I have gone backpacking in the High Sierras of Northern California. The hike in and up to about 10,000 feet above sea level is tough. With a heavy pack on your back, at the end of the day, after hiking about 5 hours and 7 miles, it's nice to find a place to pitch a tent and set up a camp.

Hundreds of miles of trails twist their way throughout these majestic wilderness areas. The most well known trail in the area, of course, is the John Muir Trail, and we walk along it for a portion of our hike to our favorite spot.

All of these trails have one thing in common - they almost always follow the route of a river or a stream. Walking for hours and hours carrying a heavy pack generates tremendous thirst and need for water. Backpackers rarely carry water - it's just too heavy. Fortunately, there's plenty of water along the trail as year-round glaciers melt continuously.

Since the beginning of time, humankind has always had to live near productive water sources. A river, a stream, a spring, or a well provides the life-giving water that we must have. Jesus Christ, Himself, promises you through His own words that when you believe in Him, YOUR heart becomes a source of this life-giving, life-saving living water.

So, when you believe in Him, persons all around you will see you as a source of inspiration, based deeply in the infinite wellspring of Jesus Christ. This wonderful responsibility can only be borne when your spirit is submerged - totally surrounded - by the indwelling of the blessed Holy Spirit.

2011-05-04T13:24:00.000-05:00

As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks.

Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block.

All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down the street, where we found the owners of the blazing house standing by helplessly. They glared at us with looks of disgust.

Suddenly, we realized why.....

We were all still holding our roasting forks with marshmallows on them.

2011-04-10T13:23:00.000-05:00

Late one night I stopped at one of those 24-hour gas station mini-marts to get myself a fresh-brewed cup of coffee. When I picked up the pot, I could not help noticing that the brew was as black as asphalt and just about as thick.

"How old is this coffee?" I asked the woman who was standing behind the store counter.

She shrugged. "I don't know. I've only been working here two weeks."

today's quote

2010-12-10T17:30:00.000-06:00

“Pain nourishes courage. You can’t be brave if you’ve only had wonderful things happen to you.” —Mary Tyler Moore

Today's Quote

2010-12-05T17:28:00.000-06:00

“Affirmation without discipline is the beginning of delusion.” —Jim Rohn

2010-11-20T01:22:00.001-06:00

Just before Thanksgiving, the holding pen was abuzz as Mother Turkey
scolded her younger birds. "You turkeys are always into mischief,"
she gobbled. "If your grandfather could see the things you do, he'd
turn over in his gravy."

Today's Quote

2010-11-15T17:30:00.000-06:00

“Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous; you get knocked down by traffic from both sides.” —Margaret Thatcher

Avoid this web page service

2010-11-14T21:52:00.001-06:00

Avoid I page.com. They will make it very difficult for you to set up services and they have poor customer service.

Today's Quote

2010-11-10T17:30:00.000-06:00

“Humans have the remarkable ability to get exactly what they must have. But there is a difference between a ‘must’ and a ‘want.’ ” —Jim Rohn

Today's Quote

2010-11-05T17:28:00.000-05:00

“Self-respect is the root of discipline: The sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.” —Abraham Joshua Heschel

2010-11-01T01:23:00.000-05:00

A visiting speaker was impressed by the enthusiasm that our Christian
school students showed in their physical education class.

"I exercise, too," he sighed, faintly smiling at our pastor. "Every
morning I awaken to the alarm, jump from bed, and run around the
block six times."

As our pastor expressed surprise and offered hearty praise, the man
continued, "Then I kick the block under the bed and go back to sleep."

2010-10-29T01:24:00.000-05:00

When my friend got a job, her husband agreed to share the housework.
He was stunned by the amount of effort involved in keeping a house
clean with small boys to pick up after, and insisted that he and his
wife shop for a new vacuum cleaner.

The salesman gave them a demonstration of the latest model. "It comes
equipped with all the newest features," he assured them.

The husband was not convinced. "Don't you have a riding one?" he asked.

2010-10-28T01:24:00.000-05:00

A few years back, I had my old 45 RPM records out to look through and
my daughter asked what they were. I explained that back in the 1960s,
before CDs were invented, this was how we listened to music. I
further explained how all the bands issued singles on these "45s,"
and radio stations would rate the top 40 songs every week.

She was quite impressed as I continued describing how one used a
phonograph to play them. I burst out laughing when she asked --
perfectly straight faced -- "Daddy, how many megs of RAM does one of
these hold?"

2010-10-26T01:25:00.000-05:00

A man came back to the dealer from whom he bought a new car.

"I believe you gave me a guarantee with my car," he said.

"That's right, sir," the salesman answered. "During the warranty
period we will replace anything that breaks."

"Fine, I need a new garage door."

2010-10-25T01:23:00.000-05:00

While Shirley was dining out with her children, a man came
over to their table and started talking.

He asked where Shirley's kids went to school. She told him
they home-schooled.

With a raised eyebrow, he asked if her husband is the sole
breadwinner for their family.

"No, I also work... from inside our home."

Then, noticing her two-month-old son, he mentioned that his
daughter had just had a baby, and he wondered what hospital
her son was born in.

"He was born at home," she answered.

The man looked at Shirley for a moment, and then said, "Wow,
you don't get out much, do you?"

2010-10-20T01:21:00.001-05:00

A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss.
She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, "I
suppose you will want some identification."

He replied, without hesitation, "No ma'am, that won't be necessary."

"How come?" asked the woman.

"Crooks don't buy peat moss." answered the clerk.

Today's Quote

2010-10-10T17:29:00.000-05:00

“When you develop your ability to balance your emotions, unexpected problems won’t knock you off balance as easily, and you’ll return more quickly to a positive outlook.” —Peggy McColl

today's Quote

2010-10-05T17:27:00.000-05:00

“It’s not what you do once in a while; it’s what you do day in and day out that makes the difference.” —Jenny Craig

Today's Quote

2010-09-10T17:29:00.000-05:00

“The key that unlocks energy is desire. It’s also the key to a long and interesting life. If we expect to create any drive, any real force within ourselves, we have to get excited.” —Earl Nightingale

Today's quote

2010-09-05T17:27:00.000-05:00

“No steam or gas drives anything until it is confined. No life ever grows great until it is focused, dedicated, disciplined.” —Harry Emerson Fosdick

Quote to remember

2010-08-30T17:26:00.000-05:00

“Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself - and be lenient to everybody else.” -Henry Ward Beecher

Quote to remember

2010-08-25T17:25:00.000-05:00

"No one ever attains very eminent success by simply doing what is required of him; it is the amount and excellence of what is over and above the required that determines the greatness of ultimate distinction." -Charles Kendall Adams

Quote to remember

2010-08-20T17:25:00.000-05:00

“Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.” —Benjamin Disraeli

Quotes to remember

2010-08-15T17:24:00.000-05:00

“The problems of the world cannot possibly be solved by skeptics or cynics whose horizons are limited by obvious realities. We need men and women who can dream of things that never were.” —John F. Kennedy

Quote 4 2-day

2010-08-10T17:23:00.000-05:00

"Some people have greatness thrust upon them. Few have excellence thrust upon them - they achieve it. They do not achieve it unwittingly by doing what comes naturally and they don't stumble into it in the course of amusing themselves. All excellence involves discipline and tenacity of purpose.'" -John William Gardner

Todays quote

2010-08-05T17:23:00.000-05:00

“Faith is the ‘eternal elixir’ which gives life, power and action to the impulse of thought! Faith is the starting point of all accumulation of riches! Faith is the basis of all ‘miracles’ and all mysteries which cannot be analyzed by the rules of science! Faith is the only known antidote for failure!” —Napoleon Hill

RE:

2010-07-31T18:03:00.001-05:00

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2010-07-31T17:31:00.001-05:00

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Quote for today

2010-07-30T17:22:00.000-05:00

“We are supposed to forgive everyone; everyone includes ourselves.” —Denis Waitley

Today's Quote

2010-07-25T17:22:00.000-05:00

“One of the secrets of a long and fruitful life is to forgive everybody everything every night before you go to bed.” —Bernard Baruch

Today's Quote

2010-07-20T17:21:00.000-05:00

“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.” —Nathaniel Braden

Today's Quote

2010-07-15T17:21:00.000-05:00

“The three great essentials to achieving anything worthwhile are: first, hard work, second, stick-to-it-iveness, and third, common sense.” —Thomas A. Edison

Quote for today

2010-07-10T17:20:00.000-05:00

“Don’t ever let economics alone determine your career or how you spend the majority of you time.” —Denis Waitley

Today's Quote

2010-07-05T17:20:00.000-05:00

“Character is the impulse reined down into steady continuance.” —Charles H. Parkhurst

Today's Quote

2010-06-25T17:19:00.000-05:00

“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” —Aldous Huxley

Quote for today

2010-06-18T17:19:00.000-05:00

“Given the chance, a person will create more exciting and challenging goals for himself or herself than parents or company managers could ever dream of.” —Denis Waitley

2010-06-11T17:18:00.000-05:00

"So great has been the endurance, so incredible the achievement, that, as long as the sun keeps a set course in heaven, it would be foolish to despair of the human race." -Ernest L. Woodward

Quote for today

2010-06-04T17:18:00.001-05:00

"Miss a meal if you have to, but don't miss a book." -Jim Rohn

Todays Quote

2010-05-27T17:17:00.000-05:00

“Show me a man who cannot bother to do little things and I’ll show you a man who cannot be trusted to do big things.” —Lawrence Bell

Quote for Today

2010-05-21T17:16:00.000-05:00

“Do not wait for leaders. Do it alone, person to person.” —Mother Teresa

Today's Quote

2010-05-14T20:00:00.000-05:00

"I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book."

(Groucho Marx)

Today's Quote

2010-05-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

“I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.”

(Helen Keller)

Quote to remember

2010-05-03T17:26:00.000-05:00

“Learn how to turn frustration into fascination. You will learn more being fascinated by life than you will by being frustrated by it.” —Jim Rohn

Political Urban legends

2010-03-05T10:12:00.001-06:00

Did he actually say that?

In all fairness, some times untruths are attributed to specific people.
It doesn't matter if we like or dislike a particular politician; we need
to be willing to let the truth be known. Lying or using falsehoods to
defeat or make the other side look bad only makes you look weak.

Here is something that makes Obama look bad...

''"Look, it's an all volunteer force," Obama complained. "Nobody made
these guys go to war. They had to have known and accepted the risks. Now
they whine about bearing the costs of their choice? It doesn't compute."
"I thought these were people who were proud to sacrifice for their
country, "Obama continued "I wasn't asking for blood, just money. With
the country facing the worst financial crisis in its history, I'd have
thought that the patriotic thing to do would be to try to help reduce
the nation's deficit. I guess I underestimated the selfishness of some
of my fellow Americans."''

Ahh, but is that really the truth?

http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/barackobama/a/obama_military_insurance.
htm?nl=1

This was actually a spoof from the pen of satirist John Semmens from the
website: AZConservative.org

Let's not spread rumors and gossip. Let's tell the truth.

conceited new rookie

2010-03-04T17:13:00.003-06:00

A conceited new rookie was pitching his first game. He walked the first five men he faced and the manager took him out of the game. The rookie slammed his glove on the ground as he yelled,

"Man, that jerk took me out when I had a no-hitter going."

Baseball

2010-03-04T17:13:00.001-06:00

Yowza!

Its baseball time and I am starting to get pumped!

To get us in the baseball mood, I will drop in some baseball humor.

Enjoy!

US Congressman from Minnesota - Keith Ellison

2010-02-19T12:46:00.001-06:00

If you live in Minnesota and are not happy with Congressman Keith Ellison. There is another choice..

Joel Demos for Congress.

Keep an eye on this blog for more details, but if you are looking for change, for hope, for a new voice, and for fresh opinions – vote Joel Demos for Congress.

Depression

2010-01-18T09:47:00.001-06:00

Hey readers:

Have any of you ever felt depressed?

Have any of you ever felt so overwhelmed by life’s problems that you did not know what to do?

Drop a comment - tell us about it and how you over came it. I will share some of the comments anonymously in future blogs!

Hi

2010-01-17T17:36:00.000-06:00

Hello

Best Medicines

http://www.valuedrugs-zone.com

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Windows Live: Make it easier for your friends to see what you're up to on Facebook.

2009-12-25T00:01:00.000-06:00

Matthew 2 (The Message)

9-10Instructed by the king, they set off. Then the star appeared again, the same star they had seen in the eastern skies. It led them on until it hovered over the place of the child. They could hardly contain themselves: They were in the right place! They had arrived at the right time!

11They entered the house and saw the child in the arms of Mary, his mother. Overcome, they kneeled and worshiped him. Then they opened their luggage and presented gifts: gold, frankincense, myrrh.

12In a dream, they were warned not to report back to Herod. So they worked out another route, left the territory without being seen, and returned to their own country.

13After the scholars were gone, God's angel showed up again in Joseph's dream and commanded, "Get up. Take the child and his mother and flee to Egypt. Stay until further notice. Herod is on the hunt for this child, and wants to kill him."

14-15Joseph obeyed. He got up, took the child and his mother under cover of darkness. They were out of town and well on their way by daylight. They lived in Egypt until Herod's death. This Egyptian exile fulfilled what Hosea had preached: "I called my son out of Egypt."

16-18Herod, when he realized that the scholars had tricked him, flew into a rage. He commanded the murder of every little boy two years old and under who lived in Bethlehem and its surrounding hills. (He determined that age from information he'd gotten from the scholars.) That's when Jeremiah's sermon was fulfilled:

A sound was heard in Ramah,
weeping and much lament.
Rachel weeping for her children,
Rachel refusing all solace,
Her children gone,
dead and buried.

19-20Later, when Herod died, God's angel appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt: "Up, take the child and his mother and return to Israel. All those out to murder the child are dead."

21-23Joseph obeyed. He got up, took the child and his mother, and reentered Israel. When he heard, though, that Archelaus had succeeded his father, Herod, as king in Judea, he was afraid to go there. But then Joseph was directed in a dream to go to the hills of Galilee. On arrival, he settled in the village of Nazareth. This move was a fulfillment of the prophetic words, "He shall be called a Nazarene."
v

Wise men

2009-12-24T13:40:00.000-06:00

Matthew 2 (The Message)

1-2 After Jesus was born in Bethlehem village, Judah territory— this was during Herod's kingship—a band of scholars arrived in Jerusalem from the East. They asked around, "Where can we find and pay homage to the newborn King of the Jews? We observed a star in the eastern sky that signaled his birth. We're on pilgrimage to worship him."

3-4When word of their inquiry got to Herod, he was terrified—and not Herod alone, but most of Jerusalem as well. Herod lost no time. He gathered all the high priests and religion scholars in the city together and asked, "Where is the Messiah supposed to be born?"

5-6They told him, "Bethlehem, Judah territory. The prophet Micah wrote it plainly:

It's you, Bethlehem, in Judah's land,
no longer bringing up the rear.
From you will come the leader
who will shepherd-rule my people, my Israel."

7-8Herod then arranged a secret meeting with the scholars from the East. Pretending to be as devout as they were, he got them to tell him exactly when the birth-announcement star appeared. Then he told them the prophecy about Bethlehem, and said, "Go find this child. Leave no stone unturned. As soon as you find him, send word and I'll join you at once in your worship."

Visit to the Temple

2009-12-23T14:40:00.000-06:00

21When the eighth day arrived, the day of circumcision, the child was named Jesus, the name given by the angel before he was conceived.

22-24Then when the days stipulated by Moses for purification were complete, they took him up to Jerusalem to offer him to God as commanded in God's Law: "Every male who opens the womb shall be a holy offering to God," and also to sacrifice the "pair of doves or two young pigeons" prescribed in God's Law.

25-32In Jerusalem at the time, there was a man, Simeon by name, a good man, a man who lived in the prayerful expectancy of help for Israel. And the Holy Spirit was on him. The Holy Spirit had shown him that he would see the Messiah of God before he died. Led by the Spirit, he entered the Temple. As the parents of the child Jesus brought him in to carry out the rituals of the Law, Simeon took him into his arms and blessed God:

God, you can now release your servant;
release me in peace as you promised.
With my own eyes I've seen your salvation;
it's now out in the open for everyone to see:
A God-revealing light to the non-Jewish nations,
and of glory for your people Israel.

33-35Jesus' father and mother were speechless with surprise at these words. Simeon went on to bless them, and said to Mary his mother,

This child marks both the failure and
the recovery of many in Israel,
A figure misunderstood and contradicted—
the pain of a sword-thrust through you—
But the rejection will force honesty,
as God reveals who they really are.

36-38Anna the prophetess was also there, a daughter of Phanuel from the tribe of Asher. She was by now a very old woman. She had been married seven years and a widow for eighty-four. She never left the Temple area, worshiping night and day with her fastings and prayers. At the very time Simeon was praying, she showed up, broke into an anthem of praise to God, and talked about the child to all who were waiting expectantly for the freeing of Jerusalem.

39-40When they finished everything required by God in the Law, they returned to Galilee and their own town, Nazareth. There the child grew strong in body and wise in spirit. And the grace of God was on him.

There were sheepherders

2009-12-22T13:35:00.000-06:00

Luke 2

8-12 There were sheepherders camping in the neighborhood. They had set night watches over their sheep. Suddenly, God's angel stood among them and God's glory blazed around them. They were terrified. The angel said, "Don't be afraid. I'm here to announce a great and joyful event that is meant for everybody, worldwide: A Savior has just been born in David's town, a Savior who is Messiah and Master. This is what you're to look for: a baby wrapped in a blanket and lying in a manger."

13-14At once the angel was joined by a huge angelic choir singing God's praises:

Glory to God in the heavenly heights,
Peace to all men and women on earth who please him.

15-18As the angel choir withdrew into heaven, the sheepherders talked it over. "Let's get over to Bethlehem as fast as we can and see for ourselves what God has revealed to us." They left, running, and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in the manger. Seeing was believing. They told everyone they met what the angels had said about this child. All who heard the sheepherders were impressed.

19-20Mary kept all these things to herself, holding them dear, deep within herself. The sheepherders returned andlet loose, glorifying and praising God for everything they had heard and seen. It turned out exactly the way they'd been told!
Blessings

The Birth of Jesus

2009-12-21T13:00:00.000-06:00

Luke 2 (The Message)

Luke 2

1-5About that time Caesar Augustus ordered a census to be taken throughout the Empire. This was the first census when Quirinius was governor of Syria. Everyone had to travel to his own ancestral hometown to be accounted for. So Joseph went from the Galilean town of Nazareth up to Bethlehem in Judah, David's town, for the census. As a descendant of David, he had to go there. He went with Mary, his fiancée, who was pregnant.

6-7While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. She gave birth to a son, her firstborn. She wrapped him in a blanket and laid him in a manger, because there was no room in the hostel.

The birth of Jesus took place like this.

2009-12-20T13:00:00.000-06:00

Matthew1 (The Message)

18-19The birth of Jesus took place like this. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. Before they came to the marriage bed, Joseph discovered she was pregnant. (It was by the Holy Spirit, but he didn't know that.) Joseph, chagrined but noble, determined to take care of things quietly so Mary would not be disgraced.

20-23While he was trying to figure a way out, he had a dream. God's angel spoke in the dream: "Joseph, son of David, don't hesitate to get married. Mary's pregnancy is Spirit-conceived. God's Holy Spirit has made her pregnant. She will bring a son to birth, and when she does, you, Joseph, will name him Jesus—'God saves'—because he will save his people from their sins." This would bring the prophet's embryonic sermon to full term:

Watch for this—a virgin will get pregnant and bear a son;
They will name him Immanuel (Hebrew for "God is with us").

24-25Then Joseph woke up. He did exactly what God's angel commanded in the dream: He married Mary. But he did not consummate the marriage until she had the baby. He named the baby Jesus.

Christmas Cards

2009-12-15T13:12:00.000-06:00

I decided to get my husband to address Christmas cards, as I had so much to do. I arranged everything we needed, then hopefully pulled up a chair and said, "Come on, Dear, let's get these out of the way."
He glanced at the array on the table, turned away and went into the den, returning moments later with a high stack of cards, stamped, sealed, and addressed.
"They're last year's," he said. "I forgot to mail them. Now let's go out to dinner and relax."

Christmas Humor

2009-12-01T13:11:00.000-06:00

A church was preparing for Christmas services. The pastor decided he wanted a banner made for the entryway and had a parishioner call the sign company. The parishioner told the man on the phone the message he wanted and the dimensions needed for the entryway.
The sign came back a few days later... "Unto Mary Jesus was born, six feet long and two feet wide."

Fasting! WOW! So much FUN ....... NOT!!!!

2009-11-02T10:43:00.001-06:00

There are types of fasts different in the Bible.

1. Normal - abstaining from food. (Luke 4:2).

2. Absolute - abstaining from food and water; normally no more than 3 days. (Acts 9:9), Moses (Deut. 9:9), Israel (Ezra 10:6), Israel (Esther 4:16).

3. Partial - restricting diet of certain foods or a meal a day. (Daniel 1:16), (Daniel 10:3).

Daniel 10:2, 3, “In those days I, Daniel, was mourning three full weeks. I ate no pleasant food, no meat or wine came into my mouth, nor did I anoint myself at all, till three whole weeks were fulfilled.”

Any of these fasts can help your spiritual condition and we must do it with the right spirit and right frame of mind.

Some will fast books or movies, others the internet while others deny themselves their favorite food(s) or drink.

Right now we are on a 30 day Daniels Fast and we let our teenager choose the item to fast; he selected soda pop! This will be hard, I usually drink a can or bottle of pop with lunch and a glass or two of Ginger Ale or Root Beer with supper.

My wife drinks lots of diet Coke / Diet Pepsi while my son drinks a lot of Mountain Dew.

But we’ve agreed together to do this fast for many reasons, my wife needs a job, he needs better grades and I need to know the next step God has for me.

H1N1

2009-10-22T10:36:00.001-05:00

The only portals of entry for the virus are the nostrils and mouth/throat.
In a global epidemic of this nature, it's almost impossible to avoid coming
into contact with H1N1 in spite of all precautions. Contact with H1N1
is not so much of a problem as proliferation is.

While you are still healthy and not showing any symptoms of H1N1
infection, in order to prevent proliferation, aggravation of symptoms
and development of secondary infections, some very simple steps, not
fully highlighted in most official communications, can be practiced
(instead of focusing on how to stock N95 or Tamiflu):

1. Frequent hand-washing (well highlighted in all official communications).

2. "Hands-off-the-face" approach. Resist all temptations to touch any
part of face (unless you want to eat, bathe - or slap).

3. Gargle twice a day with warm salt water (use Listerine if you
don't trust salt). H1N1 takes 2-3 days after initial infection in the
throat/ nasal cavity to proliferate and show characteristic symptoms.
Simple gargling prevents proliferation. In a way, gargling with salt
water has the same effect on a healthy individual that Tamiflu has on
an infected one. Don't underestimate this simple, inexpensive and
powerful preventative method.

4. Similar to 3 above, clean your nostrils at least once every day
with warm salt water. Not everybody may be good at Jala Neti or Sutra
Neti but blowing the nose hard at least once a day and swabbing both nostrils
with cotton buds dipped in warm salt water is very effective in
bringing down viral population.

5. Boost your natural immunity with foods that are rich in Vitamin C
(Amla and other citrus fruits). If you have to supplement with
Vitamin C tablets, make sure that it also has Zinc to boost
absorption.

6. Drink as much of warm liquids (tea, coffee, etc) as you can.
Drinking warm liquids has the same effect as gargling, but in the
reverse direction. They wash off proliferating viruses from the throat
into the stomach where they cannot survive, proliferate or do any
harm.

Let's give it up for Christian Life Center in ST CLOUD!

2009-09-28T11:08:00.001-05:00

CLC St Cloud had an amazing weekend with excellent and I mean excellent press coverage.

There were two stories, count them folks... the story was in the On line addition twice and in the Sunday Print addition! The On LIne addition had two different headlines with an awesome opening statement - including a link to their web page. That is huge.

Bro Grey showed me the Sunday St Cloud Times and the article about them was an above the fold article, front and center of the section. If you don't know, newspapers only put the biggest or mose exciting story front and center ''above the fold''.

Here are the links to the two articles...

http://www.sctimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2009109260036

http://www.sctimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=2009109270028

Let me give you some quotes from the articles....

Headline: Christian Life Center gives back to the community

Opening Statement:

The mission of the Christian Life Center in St. Cloud is simple: Give back to the community.

I don't know about you, but that is an awesome statment and it was written by a news reporter and is the very first thing they said.....

'' Feeling welcome is something they want community members to experience every time they attend. After each Sunday service, there are always refreshments.''

'' The spirit of giving was clear at Saturday’s block party, with free food and other giveaways.''

and ...

'' For more information about the Christian Life Center in St. Cloud visit: www.wherelifebegins.moogo.com''

The Newspaper just linked to the church! Can you say ''Awesome''?

Headline #2 :Churchgoers gather for party

Opening statement #2: The mission of the Christian Life Center in St. Cloud is simple: Give back to the community.

This was an exciting weekend for CLC St Cloud and CLC Minneapolis -we had nearly 200 people in the block party with lots of music, Warren's world Famous BBQ, Hot Dog, prizes, baptisms and people praying and seeking the Lord.

Several were baptized and many were touched by the power of God.

In Sunday's service there was a wonderful move of God's spirt - many of the first time visitors promised to come back after experienceing a touch of the power of God that they've never felt before. This is an area steeped in Lutheran and Catholic tradition and many of these people had never experienced what they did yesterday.

God is moving at CLC St Cloud and CLC Minneapolis -there is excitment and excpetation in air.

Wile E. Coyote

2009-08-01T13:17:00.000-05:00

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME stuff, why didn't he just buy dinner?"

BABYLON IS BEING REBUILT, JUST AS PROPHESIED

2009-07-14T10:01:00.001-05:00

In an email newsletter dated June 29, 2009 - Joel C. Rosenberg writes. .
.

BABYLON IS BEING REBUILT, JUST AS PROPHESIED
By Joel C. Rosenberg

Washington, D.C., June 29, 2009) -- Keep your eye on Iraq. As the
country once wracked with unimaginable violence becomes increasingly
stable and secure, direct foreign investment is going to flood in, and
the region once known as "Babylon" and "Babylonia" will become the
wealthiest country on the planet.

Exxon Mobil, the world's largest company, for example, is positioning
itself to become a major investor in the Iraqi energy sector. Other
major oil companies are doing the same. The Iraqi government in recent
months has been developing investment incentive packages to draw in such
companies. This week, in fact, such energy companies will actually begin
bidding for licenses to develop Iraq's immense but badly atrophied oil
exploration, drilling, and refining industry. Consider this morning's
headline from the Associated Press: "World's big oil companies prepare
for return to Iraq."

And this is just the beginning.

Regular readers of this weblog and my books know that Bible prophecy
says ancient Babylon, Iraq will be rebuilt and become the greatest
center of wealth, commerce and power in the "last days" of history. The
books of Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel and Revelation are explicit on this
subject. Skeptics and cynics abound, to be sure, but the fact is the
actual ancient city Babylon is being rebuilt right now, in part with
U.S. taxpayer funds. Iraqi leaders hope that eventually millions of
tourists will come to visit, and real progress is being made.

Yesterday's edition of Stars & Stripes, a U.S. military publication, had
a fascinating story headlined: "U.S., Iraqi experts developing plan to
preserve Babylon, build local tourism industry."

http://www.stripes.com/article.asp?section=104&article=63495

HILLAH, Iraq - The remains of what was once the greatest city in the
world
occupy a vast site on the bank of the Euphrates River.

Their roots go back 3,800 years to when the city of Babylon was the
heart of a Mesopotamian empire, and the remnants include great slabs of
stone that are said to be the remains of King Nebuchadnezzar's castle. A
giant stone lion guards one end of the fortifications, but the most
stunning remnants were removed by European archaeologists in the early
20th century.

Now soldiers with the 172nd Infantry Brigade are exploring the ruins as
part of a U.S.-Iraqi effort to preserve the ancient city and plan for
the return of Western tourists.

Members of the brigade's 2nd Battalion, 28th Infantry Regiment escorted
a group of U.S. heritage tourism experts to the ruins last week for the
first of several visits to develop a preservation and tourism plan for
the area.

U.S. and coalition troops have been criticized in the past for damaging
and contaminating artifacts. In a 2006 report, the head of the British
Museum's Near East department said that, among other things, military
vehicles crushed a 2,600-year-old brick pavement, and sand and
archeological fragments were used to fill military sandbags.

Now the rapidly improving security situation in surrounding Babil
province has persuaded the U.S. State Department and the Iraqi State
Board of Antiquities and Heritage to embark on the preservation project,
dubbed the Future of Babylon Project.

The State Department and the World Monuments Fund have committed
$700,000 to the project, which will see U.S. and Iraqi experts develop a
plan to preserve the site and develop a local tourism industry, said
Diane Siebrandt, the U.S. embassy's cultural heritage officer.

The Babylon project is one of several that the State Department is
involved in to conserve ancient sites in partnership with the Iraqi
government, she said.

Two people with expertise developing tourism plans for historic sites in
third-world nations, Gina Haney and Jeff Allen, have been employed by
the State Department to run the U.S. side of the project. They visited
the ruins for the first time last weekend.

Haney said the pair will involve the local community in the plan's
development, as they did with a similar project encouraging Western
tourists to visit Ghana's Gold Coast.

"You could throw money at it and do all this work, but unless you can
create a sustainable situation, your opportunities for tourism will run
out," Allen said. "The idea is to develop something that is going to be
here 30 to 40 years from now and has benefits for the local people. We
don't want something that will only benefit outsiders."

The Iraqi government will be involved in the planning as well.

"If you have 200,000 people a year coming to this site, you will have
people staying at hotels, visiting restaurants, buying souvenirs," Allen
said. "The site is in some ways a revenue generator for the local
community."

Babylon could be comparable to the Egyptian pyramids, which draw
millions of tourists each year. But the area lacks the tourist
infrastructure that has been built at sites such as the pyramids, he
said.

"There is nothing for tourists here, but if you interpret and present it
in the right way, you can spark interest," he said.

Allen, who has experience designing walkways and signs for other
heritage sites, said detailed planning won't happen until authorities
have worked out how best to preserve the ruins. The crumbling rocks of
the original city are surrounded by more elaborate and modern
fortifications, including a maze-like collection of interior walls built
on top of genuine ruins during Saddam Hussein's time.

"Some of the past restoration work hasn't been very good," he said.
"Saddam was trying to inherit the power of the ancients and continue
that legacy. His restoration methods helped reinforce that vision of
himself, and he created a pattern of restoration and repair work that
benefited a certain agenda."

One of the 172nd soldiers who visited the ruins, 1st Lt. Bryan Kelso,
24, of Jacksonville, Fla., walked in wonder near the ancient stones.

"It's amazing to be surrounded by this history. To think that we are
standing where Alexander the Great has been," he said, referring to the
great Macedonian conqueror who died in Babylon. "Babylon is one of the
oldest and first civilizations known to man. They created the wheel and
the first calendars. Everybody coming here gets a sense of what this
place really is and how it all traces back."