Things to do During Boring Sermons

• Pass a note to the organist asking whether he/she plays requests.
• See if a yawn really is contagious.
• Slap your neighbor. See if they turn the other cheek. If not, raise your hand and tell the preacher.
• Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs.
• Listen for your preacher to use a word beginning with 'A' then 'B' and so on through the alphabet.
• Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews ahead of you. After the service, credit yourself with 10 points for every marble that made it to the front.
• Using church bulletins or visitor cards for raw materials, design, test and modify a collection of paper airplanes.
• Start from the back of the church and try to crawl all the way to the front, under the pews, without being noticed.
• Raise your hand and ask for permission to go to the rest room.
• Whip out a hankie and blow your nose. Vary the pressure exerted on your nostrils and trumpet out a rendition of your favorite hymn.
• Chew gum; if the sermon goes on for more than 15 minutes, start blowing bubbles.
• Try to indicate to the minister that his fly is undone.
• By unobtrusively drawing your arms up into your sleeves, turn your shirt around backwards.
• Try to raise one eyebrow.
• Crack your knuckles.
• Twiddle your thumbs.
• Twiddle your neighbor's thumbs.
• Wiggle your ears so that the people behind you will notice