Religion as Baseball

• Calvinists believe the game is fixed.
• Lutherans believe they can't win, but trust the Scorekeeper.
• Natives circle the bases.
• Hindus go around the bases many, many times before reaching home.
• Materialists think the diamond is forever.
• Anglicans gave the Catholics a reign check. (Hint: Henry VIII)
• Quakers won't swing.
• Orthodox Christians always have a no-hitter: They turn the other cheek.
• Unitarians can catch anything.
• Amish walk a lot.
• Pagans sacrifice.
• Jehovah's Witnesses are thrown out often.
• Televangelists get caught stealing.
• Episcopalians pass the plate.
• Evangelicals make effective pitches.
• Fundamentalists balk.
• Mormon teams sign on all their relatives.
• Baha'is think everyone should play.
• Communists are out in left field.
• Buddhists don't believe anyone is keeping score.
• Taoists think the rules are restrictive.
• When Catholics steal a base, they have to go to confession after the game.
• The Lions couldn't touch Daniel leaving the Jews up one.
• Adventists have a seventh-inning stretch.
• Atheists refuse to have an Umpire.
• Sabeans are stuck on first base.
• Baptists want to play hardball.
• Premillenialists expect the game to be called soon on account of eternal darkness.
• Catholics make a shortstop in purgatory before sliding into home.
• The Pope claims never to have committed an error.
• Law & Order crowd believes ...three strikes and you're in.