"Signs You Need a New Pizza Place"

The pizza's secrets ingredient is still moving.

The delivery kid is packing.

This weeks special is double cheese and double anchovies at no extra charge.

While waiting for the last order to come out of the oven, you catch the delivery guys playing "Frisbee golf" with the other pizzas.

When you call in your order, someone answers the phone with "Gino's Bait Shop and Pizzeria, how may I help you?"

When you open the box you find that the anchovies are eating the sausage.

You realize the red sauce is ketchup.

The pizza box that was just delivered to you displays the phone number for the Poison Control Hot-Line.

You notice a sign on the door: "Dear Customers: we are pleased to announce that 38% of our menu is FDA approved."

Their slogan is, "If it's not there in 30 minutes, it's not getting there."

Your "stuffed crust pizza" is stuffed with pudding instead of cheese.

Your order of bread sticks is simply the uneaten crust from old pizza slices.

The delivery guy waits at your door until you're finished so he can take the box back for the next customer.