Twisted Greeting Cards
(Alan Meiss)
______________________________________________
I must express my gratitude
for such a lovely gift.
Your thoughtfulness and taste is matched
only by your thrift.
It's clear that you spared all expense,
if you catch my drift.
Remove the anti-theft device
when you again shoplift.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
It's Christmas time, and once again,
the family's gathered 'round.
Uncles, aunts, and cousins come
to raise a joyful sound.
All that is, except for you,
whom we can only send this mail.
But we'll save your gifts for fifty years
till you get out of jail.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
This Christmas time I give to you
a book that isn't mine.
So give it back before it's due
or I'll have to pay a fine.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Dear friend,
Your name is on my Christmas card list,
and as I wrote you name and address
on the envelope,
an odd, puzzling feeling of wonder
washed over me, and I wondered...who are you?
