Joke #1:
Al Gore is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner with a box. Curious, he runs over to the child and says, "What's in the box, kid?" The little boy says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens." Al Gore laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?" "Democrats," the child says. "Oh, that's cute," Al Gore says and he runs off.
A couple of days later, Al Gore is running with his buddy Bill Clinton and he spies the same boy with his box just ahead. Al says to Bill, "You gotta check this out," and they both jog over to the boy with the box. Al says, "Look in the box Bill, isn't that cute? Look at those little kittens. Hey, kid, tell my friend Bill what kind of kittens they are." The boy replies, "They're Republicans."
"Whoa!" Al says, "I came by here the other day and you said they were Democrats. What's up?"
"Well," the kid says, "Their eyes are open now."
A stock broker, on his way home from work in NY City, came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's even moving."
He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars, so he rolls down his window and asks, "Officer what's the hold up?"
The officer replies, "Hillary Clinton is just so depressed about all the New Yorkers making jokes about her, she stopped her motorcade in the middle of the freeway and she's threatening to douse herself in gasoline and set herself on fire. She says her husband is running around on her more than ever and the Democrats told her to forget about the presidency in 2008. So we're taking up a collection for her."
The broker asks "Oh really? How much have you got so far?"
The officer replies "About 4 1/2 gallons, but a lot of folks are still siphoning."
